God of My Salvation

Spoken Word Piece

by Anaiah Poston-Wilson

When I take a hard look at my life as it is right now

I’ll be honest, I disappoint myself

Even on the mountain I can see my brokenness in the valley

Scattered among the shadows of a life I no longer belong to

What do I do when this brokenness is just a mess that I can’t seem to resist?

Just trust God he will make your paths straight they say

He cares for you, only wants the best for you they say

Rejoice in the Lord they say

But in this mind riddled with loneliness and insecurity

How do I rejoice in the Lord who makes my paths straight?

Because I try, I do, but it just seems like something has a greater pull

The lies of the enemy starve my soul and echo so loud I just can’t let go

I mean how long will my thoughts keep screaming you’re not enough, you’ll never be enough, stop trying to

be enough, you’re too broken to ever be fixed,

God there’s no way this is what’s best

Because surely you care, and you wouldn’t dare leave me in despair

I watch all my broken pieces turn into reasons that release all my demons

I stand here confused while I use this useless glue that I must’ve misused to put me back together

I fail to make myself whole again, but maybe I was never actually whole to begin with

I’ve tried to live this life all on my own again

A life in which I find no success

I’ve tried to find a way to repair what’s been broken

But I guess the tools in my toolbox are just too broken to use 

Every twist and turn has proven to me I’ve never really known which way to go

I’ve built my house on a foundation that has just crumbled like sand

Oh God I can barely stand please tell me that you’ll hold my hand

I think I started to forget that you told me “come as you are”

I think I started to forget exactly who you are

I think I started to forget that you see my brokenness, yet it doesn’t actually scare you

In fact, you offer my brokenness a solution, a source of restitution

I think I started to forget that this useless glue could never hold up what was meant to be bound together by

love, mercy and grace

Where my identity stood lost without a trace,

You sent your son down to replace the disgrace of the enemy with a grace expressed beyond human only

interpretation

I think I started to forget that the lies of the enemy have no power in the name of Jesus

But in the name of Jesus, I am enough, I will always be enough, I am NOT too broken to be fixed

Because the nails in the hands and feet of your son Jesus was more than enough to break the chains of

brokenness and restore absolute freedom.

I will rejoice in the Lord, I will take joy in the God of my salvation.